“YOU ARE ALL KINDNESS, MADAM; BUT I BELIEVE WE MUST ABIDE BY OUR ORIGINAL PLAN” ––Elizabeth Bennet
We all had a plan for our life when we were young. For most, it was a dream career, and/or a suburban home with a summer beach house, three kids who practically sang our praises for their intensely successful life . . . and then comes, Plan B: illness, death, unemployment, divorce, not making money on an investment like you thought, or heaven forbid, unhappiness.
Plan A promised happily-ever-after, it is better, right?
You don’t want Plan B.
Plan B is the one that your parents sent you to school for––not the university mind you––that was plan A, I’m talking about the school of hard knocks.
I think some of us could be classified as the “eternal student” of “valedictorian” or have about 10 “honorary degrees” from life. If you think like I do, I’m ready to graduate and move on.
Move on? Yes, I mean change. *insert villainous music* I know it is almost a swear word to some people; a word that violates their moral code. I know a few picky eaters where “change” may be trying fruit pizza with fresh fruit, cashews, coconut, cream cheese and caramel drizzle. For others, like me, they will rewrite their Plan A to include this delightful dessert. But I’m not talking about changing your dietary choices for the day. No, I’m talking about changing how you live; how you make your life worth living if it didn’t turn out the way you wanted.
I am trying to say that I am not a stranger to change and adaptation. So please read my blog with a keen knowledge that . . . I get it. I’ve been there, done that. And if I haven’t actually gone through what you have, there is also a high likelihood that, I’ll probably “go there and do that” too. Fact of life: most people in your life will know someone close to them who has been there and done that. So reach out.
Change is the only constant in our lives, no matter how organized, well prepared or determined you are. Your original Plan A, is now Plan B, or C, L or SQ4 (waaaaay down the list you made when you were thirteen).
This is going to sound like a silly thing to say, but life is not about what you wanted or didn’t get, it is about what you already have, and what else you can get.
Life is actually about SEEKING OUT and taking what you CAN get.
And if what you want is within your sights, go get it. But if it is not, for example, a 50-year anniversary, when you just got divorced at 45, start seeking an entirely different dream. The alternative is, you can complain, blame the former spouse, and be ungrateful of what you walked away with.
Life is about how you handle Plan B
This truth is not in question. You will have to endure loss, and you must adapt to it. You will endure pain, or sorrow, or have to give up on something you wanted in Plan A. So handle it. Tell yourself you got this. Get out of your way and get it done. Throw the gloves off and fight dirty, because no one else is in charge of forming the next plan but you.